Wednesday, 29 July 2015

The Love We Deserve

After an incredibly depressing and annoying essay of a post (sorry about that one everyone) I was challenged to write something positive. Where my head is at right now, that is a pretty big ask. I usually like to consider myself less pessimistic but at present, when having various realities and home truths forcefully rammed home to me, I am not a bundle of joy. I didn't know what to write about: my first thought was a list of things/people/places I am grateful for. Well I dismissed that idea immediately upon realising the post would end up sarcastic, bitchy and would probably paint a rather impressive portrait of that little green monster in me. Trust me, that'd be about as much fun to read as sticking needles in your eyes.

So here is the one I settled on: Love. The kind we crave and the kind we deserve, and the kind I hope all those precious to me find. If it gets vom-worthy then feel free to stop reading, but I have attempted to make it as readable as possible. Ok I lie... It may induce vomit. My apologies.

I think we all deserve the kind of love that makes your insides flutter, your smile bigger and your eyes gleam. We deserve the kind of love that makes us see magic in the other person... And maybe even appreciate the magic in ourselves. It's the kind that makes the world better: life can be falling apart and pulling you in opposite directions, but you know in the moment you're with that person that it'll be ok, because when you have them you have all the strength you need. We deserve the kind of love that makes us want to remind the other person of the good that they can't see in themselves. It's the kind of love where that isn't hard, because in our mind all we need to do is remind them of who they are. It'd be the kind of love where they feel it too: when they remind you of who you are, you don't see everything you hate about yourself but you begin to see yourself through their eyes. It's like seeing for the first time. All the things you despise are suddenly pulled into the open, and you hate them being exposed but you realise that you are loved for EVERYTHING you are, "bad things" included. We deserve the kind of love that makes us want to be better, the kind where you want to become everything the other person sees in you. We deserve the kind of love that makes us happy. We deserve the love that is made stronger by friendship: we know the other person is crazy gorgeous, but knowing how to be best friends with them too? That's gold dust.

I like to think I am an optimist. Many friends have already found this strange, alien concept, and have made a lifelong commitment to that person. Most of you are my age, or even younger. This is something I have openly admitted to being slightly terrified of... but if you have found something as precious as the kind of love you deserve, then KEEP IT. And keep in mind how precious it is and how blessed you are. For those still searching, who have been injured in the search; please don't shut yourself off. Don't run away... I really do believe it's out there, and you deserve it. I know you do. And I really sincerely hope you find what you deserve, a love as precious as you are.

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