Thursday 28 November 2013
Empty Words, Empty Promises: I am Done.
I love Jesus, with everything I have. And I know he loves me more than I can ever imagine. But what about those times when he doesn't feel like enough? I know that's a bold statement to make in the Christian world, particularly since the Bible specifically says that Jesus is enough, that God's grace is enough for us. But sometimes I just don't feel like that's true. I don't always get the answers I need, I don't always feel like Jesus is there, providing for me. I feel distant, I feel lost and even when we are told to "rest in the promises of God, because he never breaks them" What does that actually look like? In real life what would I say to someone who asked me that? Right now, I have no idea. I don't know how to just "be." I don't know how to be okay with the fact that life happens and I can't always feel Jesus there. I can't be okay with that. What do I do when worship begins to feel like empty words? When praying feels like talking to myself? I am done with words. They are empty and meaningless alone. I need something real and something true because empty words and empty promises change nothing.
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Hey,
ReplyDeleteJust thought I'd give you some encouragement.
Firstly, well done for talking about the problem, too many people feel this way and say nothing or worse pretend they don't.
So well done for talking about it.
Just to give you a small snippet of what happened in my life within the last week; one night this week I was sitting awake at the computer late and I was writing my testimony out, which is quite an ... interestng tale, and as I got to age 15 or thereabouts I had to stop, for one I had been writing just short of an hour and two I didn't want to remember any more.
During the prayer meeting this week here in Berlin I was leading worship with two other musicians and i was singing a song called i surrender by Hillsong. During the song I realised that the person standing leding worship was a completely different person to the 15 year old I had been writing about, the one I was so ashamed of. As we sang i thought more and more about the testimony since then and how impossible the story was, that in such a small time God had made a drastic change in my life just as he promised. Believe me, how you are feeling is close to how I have been feeling for a while now, in addition to that I had gotten depressed again and a few other personal problems, but since that day this week, my entire life has been shone in a different light.
Maybe you just need to look behind and see the good things God has done out of the bad like I did and then look to the future that God has for you.
Hope this helps, I apologise if it doesn't.
God Bless and Much Love,
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