I haven't written for a long time now... it is not for want of trying though. I have too many drafts/ideas written down to even begin to count but nothing I write reads well. I am sat here hoping that this attempt won't end up in my other pile of drafts, but you never know! I want to say that so far my stay in France has been incredible, and that everything is here is hunky dory. Well firstly, the fact that I used hunky-dory in a non sarcastic manner probably proves that I am not being entirely truthful! I do love this country, but it seems to be a love hate relationship: I love the weather, I love the people I have met here, and I love the church I am so privileged to be a part of. But the total lack of organisation and any kind of system out here is incredibly frustrating and has brought me to tears so many times. The language barrier can frustrate and annoy me, and it is definitely the small victories I am counting on.
It is small victories like making myself understood in lectures: asking a pertinent question that the lecturer actually understands and thinks is valid. It is in meeting new people who understand your french, and then proceed to complement it. It is the end of the "french headaches" caused by spending all day having to concentrate twice as much as normal just to ingest some of what is being taught in lectures. It is forgetting which language you started the conversation in because you switch between the two so often. It is accidentally starting to speak to my parents in french and therefore seeming incredibly pretentious... though more so than that it is beginning to automatically do the 3 bisous when you meet people (it is confusing when people are from different regions so don't do 3).
Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of the small victories when we feel defeated and down: they add up to so much more than we realise! The small victories are a declaration of progress and however insignificant that progress may feel, in the face of despair and heartache it is the silver lining.
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