Tuesday, 25 November 2014


The stress is back with a vengence, the end of term is approaching at lightening speed and yet my work seems to be moving at a snail's pace. Not ideal. The reminders of deadlines are everywhere, and my head is spinning. I take a deep breath and attempt to fill the blank page glaring at me. The words appear and I start to feel calmer. Yes, these words are nonsensical and totally disorganised, but on the page they can't make my head spin anymore. As the room comes back into focus and my pulse stops racing, I return to the present. Now, now I can work.

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Who am I?

I am the doubts that overpower you. I am the reason you constantly feel undermined and insecure. I am the reason that sometimes living feels unbearable. I am the times you have missed dates with friends, dinner parties, even deadlines. I am the reason you cried yourself to sleep for 2 months straight. I am the reason you constantly seek to be better, to do better, but know you never will. I am the reason you end up putting that blade to your skin. I am the reason you were sat in the doctors wondering what the point was. I am the one who got so used to your brain that I made myself at home there. I am the one who never sleeps. I am the reason your nerves make you sick. I am the reason you hate what you have to look at in the mirror every day. I am the one who stores and weaponises every single negative experience and can completely annihilate the positive ones. I am capable of flooring you with a single word; and the best part? I don't care. I don't love you. I resent you.

Who am I? I am the bitch inside your head.