Wednesday, 4 March 2015

(Not so) New Me

Sometimes we overthink. For some of us that sometimes is always. I am one of those people. And I try to fight it. I try to look at things for what they are, and try to take my friends' advice of "just go with it" but that it is so much easier said than done. I wanted to be one of those crazy, impulsive spontaneous people but it never quite works out that way. I should just accept that I am a total contradiction in terms and probably a psychologist's worst nightmare/dream patient, depending on how you choose to see it. I am trying to make a change, I made a big hoo-hah about the new me at the start of term, but as it would turn out new me is remarkably similar to the old me, except I think it is likely she is a bitch. And quite frankly I want to scratch mark 1, and move on to New Me mark 2: who will be virtually identical to old me. She will be kind, confident and self aware. She won't be bitter or petty, but sweet and forgiving. Basically, new me is an impossible illusion and I shouldn't be trying to attain the impossible. It'll only end in tears. Not like it hasn't already. Stupid stupid things. Stupid life.

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