Wednesday 8 October 2014

Messy Monday

Monday was a challenge. I felt tired and annoyed. When I met up with one of my best friends for a coffee, I arrived hoping to be a more positive version of last week's me who was manic and unfocused. Unfortunately today was not much different. In fact it was probably worse. I couldn't turn off the waterworks, and I was ranting and raving and expressing rather violent urges to punch Jesus... I think one of the many things I repeated frequently was that he was a douche. Constructive and mature right? Yet my friend sat there and listened, and told me everything I didn't want to hear but (if I weren't too stubborn to admit it) was probably absolutely necessary. In those moments I felt so grateful. I was hurting and it took everything in me not to completely break down, even though I cried, but I was trying. I was seeking hope and it is hard. But I guess that is something I need to come to terms with: Life is hard and it gets messy.

But there are always people who make it worth living. There are always people who can make me smile no matter what and it should go without saying that I absolutely love them.

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