You inspired me...

Teachers. Everyone has or has had them, good ones, bad ones, and occasionally those exceptional ones who come around once in a blue moon. Those teachers who give you a passion for something, who feed an enthusiasm and make you feel like you can do anything. The ones who seem to be the perfect mix of fierce energy and kind words. Well, for me, Miss Fermor was one of those teachers.

She taught me history. It was evident just from her energy that she loved the subject, and it came across in how she taught it. She was always thinking of new ways to spark an interest in the subject, from "Newspapers" about the trenches in World War One, to plays about the plague of London. She was patient with me when I was confused, and she laughed with us (sometimes at us) when we joked around, but when it came down to the serious work, she was always there, making me strive to do better. She praised me where it was appropriate and gave encouragement when it was needed. But most of all she taught me respect. She didn't patronise and  yet she didn't let us walk all over her. She knew how to laugh with us (remember that muck up day when her and Miss Reid were in the common room laughing at all the other teachers being water bombed?!), but she also knew where to draw the line. She was someone who made me believe I was capable of anything. She was a teacher who made me want to try, even when I didn't see the point.

Not only this, but Miss Fermor was there for me when things were difficult. She was an understanding voice and a real strength for me. She was strong but without being aggressive, and gentle without being weak.

When I found out she had cancer I was devastated. I will never understand why it had to take her from us so young. I think she probably never knew how many people loved and respected her. Many of my friends' Facebook statuses have paid tribute to her and this is just my way of saying thank you. Moira House was lucky to have her,  and I feel very privileged to have known her, and to have been taught by her.

Miss Fermor you were amazing. A gifted teacher and generous person who inspired me to aim high. You will always be remembered and you are already sorely missed.

x

"I love you"

He watches her struggle through the day, barely able to stand at the end of it. He can see her soul is weary. He can see she is tired, tired of everything. But she has turned her back. It breaks his heart. She has distanced herself from him, because it makes it easier to pretend she is fine and makes it easier for her to survive the day. He can see what she tries to conceal. He sees it and it hurts him. It hurts him to see how she is crushed by the weight of shame she doesn't need, and how she is once again imprisoned in the cage that he released her from. The door is open, she is free. But she can't see it. She can't see beyond herself. She can't see beyond a single day. He is calling her, he is seeking her, but she can't see him. She doesn't want to see him, because she can't cope with the shame she carries.

She collapses. Exhausted, she slumps into the corner and curls into a ball. The tears begin to fall. She has finally allowed herself to break. She has finally accepted that she can't do this alone. She cries out to God and he is there. His gentle hand wipes away the tears one by one. She looks up at him and realises that he still loves her. Even though he knows what she did. He loves her.

"I forgive you. My child, I forgive you. I love you. Do you not see that?"

She could see it, but she couldn't bear to. It was too beautiful and heartbreaking because, still the guilt haunted her. She clung to him with all she had left and sobbed. He held her there, wiping away the tears until the last one fell. He dried her eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"You are beautiful, my daughter. You are everything to me. I have always loved you and I will love you forever."

He still loved her. She couldn't believe it. She loved him too. More than anyone in the universe. She wiped her eyes and gazed up at him. 

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you more than anything." 

His heart sung. She loved him. She still loved him. She wanted him. She hungered for his love, and she was His.

He was the only one who made her whole. He was the only one who could set her free. She found refuge and strength in his presence. Could he help her to see her true worth? Could he help her to escape the prison she created? She needed him. Now more than ever. She began to have hope. She knew it would not be in vein. When had he left her side? When had he turned his back? Never. It was she who had lost hope. It was she who had lost faith. It was he who restored her each and every time she fell. It was he who took her back each and every time she strayed. And she still couldn't believe her guilt had been washed away. She still couldn't believe she was as precious gold and not tarnished copper to Him. She would never be able to comprehend this truth, but she began to rejoice in it and the burden began to ease. She will face this, she will get through it and she will cling to the strength and light of her perfect Father; The one who will keep her safe in his embrace for all of time.