Thursday, 22 August 2013

Trusting God

Trust is a big thing and an important part of any relationship. It is no different in my walk with Jesus. I trust him with my life and I know he has a plan for me. But with the prospect of a year away from home being more than a little daunting, it is difficult. It is difficult to live by faith rather than by sight. It is tricky to step into the unknown.

This is because I think it is easy to trust when things are good, when you feel confident and comfortable. But now, I am about to face a whole year of change, a whole year of "new." At present this thought terrifies rather than comforts me. I know that I have said I am ready to embrace the challenge of being somewhere new, but this tops everything. I am moving to a new country, a new place and learning to function in a new language (okay so I do know French). And it is probably that which is freaking me out the most... the idea of being hundreds of miles away from home and having to do everything in French, from the shopping to all my university assessments.

As the count down gets closer the reality of leaving my small hometown, and the people I love, the panic begins to set in. I know that this is one of the most incredible opportunities I will ever have but my mind is struggling to see it that way. Right now all my mind is seeing a massive black hole of unknown and asking "But what if it is harder than last year?" "What if it is horrible?"

Well you know what? I will get through this the same way I got through this year: by trusting in the promises made to me through scripture and by committing myself to Jesus in prayer and worship. I have the Holy Spirit who lives in me. Through it I can do anything. Through the power of prayer and full reliance on a loving and holy God I can and will get through this.

Because despite the crazy moodswings, and horrible anxiety, I am not going to miss out on God's purpose for me because of fear. After all, God's perfect love casts out fear. So resting in this truth I will pursue this year in France and pursue my Father's purpose for my life.

After all... Life is not easy. But it is always worth living. And the bad times, the times when fear seems to be bigger than confidence, well surviving those teaches me that there is always something good the other side. That there is always a reason to hold on. It has also taught me to look for the beauty, even in the dark times, to seek out what is wonderful and good, just to hold on to my faith and my hope and my love. For without these I am merely a shell. 

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