Tuesday, 5 February 2013


Escaping means different things to different people. For me it means going to my favourite place in the whole world for a long long walk and losing myself amongst the beauty of the skyline and feeling the cool sea breeze in my face while I pray that tomorrow is better.
"It has to be." I whisper under my breath to noone in particular. I feel the wind hit my face. It's freezing outside but the wind feels refreshing and it smells like freedom. There is no one around but the odd dog walker here and there. The view is glorious. The ocean ripples with the brilliant white of the sun bouncing off it, while the cliffs stand tall with their sharp pale faces being met by the quiet thrashings of the waves breaking against them. The countryside is peppered with houses, the green hills rolling into one another and the sky is so blue it almost hurts to look at. It all seems so perfect and so beautiful. I really felt like there was no-one who could touch me and I loved the feeling of being practically lost in my surroundings. I twirled in the grass and smiled up at the sky. It was escape. It was this I had been craving for so long. It was this I had been wanting for months. To get to a place where who I was didn't matter, to get to a place where yesterday didn't count, tomorrow didn't matter and now was everything.

"Child," I heard a voice speak. But there was no one around. It stirred my heart and filled my stomach with butterflies. "I know who you are, and I love you." The voice was velvety, soothing and tender, yet full of strength. I was stunned. I fell silent and just stopped. The truth astounded me and stopped me dead in my tracks. He loves me. Jesus. God. The Creator of all things loves me. I simply stood for a moment letting the breeze sweep my face and once again gazed at the impossible beauty surrounding me. Of course he does.
"Of course you do," I whisper to myself, once again smiling up at the sky. I felt like the whole landscape had been written for me, just when I needed it. He was bringing me into his arms and showing me what he did for me, what he could do for me and what he would always do for me.

"But I feel suffocated. Free me." I spoke a little louder this time. I was enveloped by the voice, enveloped by the whole place. It was magical.

"You are free child. Do not worry about tomorrow, for grace will help you through, and do not worry about yesterday because that is past. Enjoy this, enjoy today, enjoy me," I was overwhelmed. I could say nothing and I let the burdens go. I twirled and danced and ran. I became a child again. I escaped. I found freedom in the arms of my Father.

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